Sunday Secrets

I couldn't resist this one!

Thanksgiving of my heart

When I think about where and who I have been spending my time with lately, it is easy to see who I have turned to in my time of need. Who I wanted there for me when I crawled out of the biggest hole I have dug myself thus far. And no matter how long it been or what has happened there were all those people standing up top, pulling me out and holding me near.

There were the ones who I knew would be there no matter what, the people who have shown me endless kindness throughout our friendships, and for those people I am eternally grateful. And then there were the ones who after all we have been through I was afraid to ask for help, afraid of you not being there when I needed you the most. But here you are, and no matter what has happened, what joy it brings me to know that you are here. All the times I have complained about you or resented you was because I missed you so dearly.

I have learned some people were sent to you to make your life easier, and some were sent to test you. But if we can take all we have been through and still be where we are today then we've made it. We are such apart of each others lives that one day we can look back and see what a journey it has been and know that we were there through the highs and the lows. It was also you who held my hand through most of my big losses, and now that you are here again when I just plain at a loss warms my heart, gives me hope that we really do love each other, like 3 year old best friends still unaware that the world isn't perfect, and neither are we.

There are few people who you can say you have known your entire lives, literally from day one, this is a gift. And how lucky I am for my gifts, because now I have these other people, these people who I feel I have known since day one. They are my people. They know my heart, my soul, my anxieties, it is plain to see that these people belong in my life, would have ended up there one way or another. If there are soul mates for best friends you ladies are it. 

And my family, my dear family. How grateful I am for all the understanding, for all the little things just to make my day, or to make sure I am happy. The annoying check ins and lectures all have love shining through them. This is such an awful thing, yet it seems to be this awful thing that we are all now going through together, and someone how it has brought us more closer together than ever. How lucky we are to have each other, to have all this love. I always knew I had a great family, and of course I have always loved them, but never more than now have I appreciated them. 

I still have bad days, some days I feel so tired and want my bed so bad that that is all I can do but give in, and days where I still have to get up and put on my make-up so no one will guess how down I really feel. But now there are these days where I can't wait to start the day. Can't wait to see the smiles I have waiting for me. Days of pure joy. I had the best time yesterday cooking while singing to the radio, was excited with all the snow, I can feel to joy of Christmas coming. Feeling anything but sad just makes me so happy. So with days like these and all the people I have, I am going to be ok. To be honest, I wasn't so sure for a while, I really felt like I was going to be sad forever. People say that no one will love if you don't love yourself first. But that can't be true, so many of you loved me no matter what. So thank-you for loving me, because I am starting to love every day, myself and get excited for the future. Having you in my life gave me that, and I am so grateful. 

We are all meant to Shine

I know posting photos is my thing, but sometimes you just come across something that touches on exactly what you are feeling, or reminds me of who I really want to be. This is so inspiring, I remember a time when I had such great expectations for myself. And why shouldn't I? I want great things, I want to love my life and find it fulfilling, not wasting time just passing time. I want to be fabulous, and am looking forward to it.