All this effort and energy I've been putting into being happy really does feel like it is paying off. I feel so rich with blessings in my life, or I am simply taking the time to appreciate what has always been there. Of course life happens and I can feel sadness rising to the surface, and I am hoping that I can hold onto that inspiration and stay happy rather than let myself sink into darkness. I am afraid and I break down, but I can still manage to get out in the sun and smell the flowers, even if that is the only thing I do that day. However there is still the looming possibility of earth shattering heartbreak, and with a track record like mine I am praying I can hold onto that happiness. I am hoping I can plant my feet and hang on and somehow come out ok. Even thinking about what is to come my hands shake and tears fall, but it's coming and I cannot pretend it isn't anymore. I know I am going to break, I just hope it isn't too hard to put the pieces back together.