Not quite 30, but already fabulous

Cheers to all those beautiful souls who showered me with love, wine and friendship! Was truly surprised!!

20 days until 30

The love is already out pouring, thanks to my amazing family and friends. The sun is shining today and I can feel the warmth that has filled that cold hollow existence that is always trying to creep in. 30 is a big deal to some people, but for me it feels like another adventure awaiting. I always liked not having a concrete life plan because you never know where you are going to go. With the ebbs and flows of my highs and lows, life has been unpredictable and bittersweet. Yet here I am, a tired soul with a warrior heart, and a long road still ahead.

On my way to 30 here are some things I have noticed along the way....

1. I can't see - glasses have finally become a part of my every day, so of course I needed 7 to accessorize
2. The past week there have been bags under my eyes that won't go away, I thought it was Halloween makeup the first two days, yet here we are and so are they (no grey hairs yet thankfully!)
3. I no longer want to dance every weekend - special occasions are enough
4. My travel bug finally kicked in - which some what taught me how to save money

Other than that all feels the same, I have no regrets thus far.

Almost 30

So there comes a time in a women's life where her 20's are coming to an end.... which apparently equals moving into an unsafe age gap for taking birth control. Taking in other medical factors I came to the decision to stop taking it. After 15 years of not giving this little pill any thought, here is what I noticed about me and my body in the months since.

1. I feel feminine AF, and I must say I like it
2. I like pink
3. My hair is thicker
4. My skin is less dry
5. I want to cuddle and be affectionate (blasphemy, I know)
6. I have a renewed sense of giddiness that fizzled out in my pre teens
7. When I ovulate I totally ogle men and vividly fantasize, I can actually feel the attraction

Overall I feel much more girly, like my 15 year old self again, but no longer a small cheasted, short haired virgin. This can turn out really good, or really bad... but I'm not sure I care. I've been looking for more excitement, I need to stop questioning every move and just go with the flow.

Winter is coming

Winter is coming, I can feel it in my bones. Numbness and sadness creep in with the snow, and I feel a slight panic wash over me, for I know what the struggle ahead holds. I don't want another winter to pass me by in hibernation, only to awake in the spring groggy and dazed. I want to get ahead of the curve and be proactive about my happiness.

I am not going to say I'm going to do million things, but small little things that bring me joy and contentment. Getting up early for a fresh coffee, dressing for success, enjoying the outdoors even in winter, and exploring passions beyond my career so I don't burn out. I want to become an expert at practicing self care, as this journey ahead will be long, and better I learn how to take care of this heavy heart so I can conquer the dark.

The journey is always changing, but adapting is keeping my on my toes. I have found good companions and more adventures, may to road ahead be well lit.

When all your Halloween dreams come true, I can die Happy