Sometimes I wonder what the attraction is to the ones that we cannot have. I know what I want, I want something fulfilling, challenging, intellectual, someone on the same page as me. All those people I have encountered like this seem to fall into the unattainable category. Then there are the easy ones, they are reliable, agreeable, always there for you no matter what. But they don’t gave you that irresistible, can’t live without you feeling. So you put up with it because having someone feels good, but in the end you let go because it is not satisfying. Where are the combination guys? The smart, challenging guys, that makes your heart race, and will be there for you regardless. Is there no place where the two types cross and make the perfect guy? When can I stop going back to those of my past who each have a part of what I want hoping over time they have developed the rest? Perhaps I think that these little encounters will leave me feeling pleased or guide me towards what I am truly looking for. Nine out of ten times though it is just a bitter reminder of why my past is my past, that I should stop including them in my future, even if just briefly.
So are the unattainable ones just the ones that we have fun with? Brief flings we will remember and always imagine they could have been something more. Leaving the reliable ones to be the ones we stick with, sacrificing the thrill that we crave? I sure hope not, I hope I can chalk up my past to my bad taste and insecurities. Hoping that I am growing up and obtaining qualities that will attract someone with everything I want. Someone who is in it for the long haul, and can give me those constant butterflies.
Until then,
The Hopeless Romantic
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