At one point it was exactly what I wanted

I think it is safe to say I may have made a lifestyle change, I don't want to jinx it yet, but even when I have steered off track I seem to get right back on. Hopefully I can keep that up. I still need to get my butt in gear learning the guitar, but everytime I hear a really good song I think about learning it, so that is a good sign.

Now, as for matters of the heart, I know what I wanted before Christmas. I wanted to slow down a bit and meet someone nice, someone you can hang out with on Tuesday, or Sunday. Someone you actually do things with. Then Christmas came, and as hard as I try I can't kick my bad habits. "I can resist anything but temptation" -Oscar Wilde. 

But I broke all the rules and let someone in. I thought I could just keep doing it and not be bothered.. how silly to think I could control my feelings, fuck. But then I got brave and decided better to live like a lion for a short while, then every day as a lamb, right? Confessions of the hopeless romantic happened in real life. Double Fuck. I am so bad at this shit. I think this is the first time in at least 4 years I seriously felt anything, and I think I knew all along it could never be anything, maybe I thought the chances of getting disappointed were less likely that way. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I think it is safe to say that I can start to move on now though, maybe start looking for what I decided I wanted six months ago, not the "kinda lovin' that makes you want to pull down the shades." - Aerosmith 

I plan on being a total girl about this for about two days, I am going to cry, drink wine, listens to sad songs and watch chickflicks. Then I am going to get back on track. I feel like I am handling this well, as long as I stay away from the whiskey it should stay that way :)