I always jump on these kicks of bettering myself, gearing all up and doing amazing for a while, and then settling back into my old ways. So here I am again starting from step one, trying to find my way. Not necessarily where I will end up, but just the way there. And I feel great, I feel amazing, it feels a hundred times better. I didn't realize how dull and dreary I felt until I started to feel that spark again. However, I don't want to get all excited and brag like I do, because I am afraid that spark will go out and I will be left feeling dull and sad again. But still I can't deny how great I feel right now. When I had my wisdom teeth pulled out, and it hurt to move anything, including smiling, it was then I realized how much more I have been smiling. And even though it pained me to do so every time, I didn't mind because it made me aware of how happy I feel, and what a relief it is to feel that. The tears I was crying and didn't know why are now the laughs and the smiles and love I have from everyone in my life. Not feeling anything for a long time sure makes you savour the moment when you get the chance again. So I don't have any big goals or challenges for myself other than just enjoyment, enjoying the moments, the days, and finding more smiles.