And so it is

You know I didn't want too much. Just longed to be held once a while, smile more, have someone I enjoy talking to. And everyone always tells you it will happen when you least expect it, which I personally thought was bullshit, but there he was one hungover morning over coffee, and here I am smiling, holding on to every word and being held (kinda a big deal for me). Just what I wanted, right? Then my mind starts racing and my belly starts doing flip flops and I thought now what? For a moment I felt completely overwhelmed, and then the next moment my mind cleared and I thought, Who cares? It's a beautiful day with beautiful people, don't worry.. be happy ;) I managed to hold onto to those runaway thoughts and slow them down and enjoy the moment. Enjoy what I have while I have it, and if at some point I don't anymore then worry about it then.

I read somewhere that worry is a waste of imagination, and how true that is. Instead of thinking, What is the worst that can happen? I want to think, What is the best that can happen? I don't want to count, because I am afraid to jinx myself, but I feel I have been happy for more days in a row than I have in a long time. Without having to look for a reason I just am. But if in the days ahead I have to, I will look for a reason. Unlike the racing "what if" thoughts, happiness is something to hold onto. Seems some life lessons are finally sinking in.. Growing up? Nah, not yet.

Inspiration

Day 63 - I am happy I seemed to have found some inspiration!

Wildflowers ♥ Tom Petty

Love this song so much <3 Could not resist!

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

One thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm is all about.

Audrey Hepburn

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone. 

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed, and redeemed, and redeemed . . . Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others. …

Your good old days are still ahead of you. May you have many of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uirBWk-qd9A&feature=share&hd=1

Sunday Secrets

Balance

It is not very often that the mood strikes me to write anymore. I remember flying through pages of journals, like the words use to flow out of me, and now I can barely drag my fingers across the keyboard to fill up a paragraph. In seeking out balance I feel I am a 5 year old on a teeter-totter, pushing off the ground so hard one moment and crashing back down the next. Unable to muster up the patience to balance mid-air, unable to stop and enjoy the moment. In seeking out feeling grounded everyday I fear I have sacrificed my everyday emotions, or instead of constant worry and melancholy I really end up giving no fucks at all. I feel I am always looking for some balance one way or any another. But I miss the days when the words filled up pages simply because something had made me smile that day, and the poems on poems, written in purple pen or stained with tears, because something had moved me to feel that way. They say it is a blessing and curse to feel so much, and sometimes I debate whether feeling grounded is more of a curse than a blessing versus feeling so much.