I woke up happy today, and I can't remember the last time that has happened. Although the sadness does not creep into everyday I find that the anxiousness is. But then I realized it was because I have been stepping out of my comfort zone, I have lived more in the past few weeks than I have in the last six months. It no longer feels like days are just passing by, but I am present and enjoying them. I am becoming confident in my passions again, I feel a bit lighter, and a bit happier.
It was strange though when I realized why I was anxious, I was anxious about participating in everyday life to my full potential. It felt odd to have to try and enjoy something when before you never had to give it second thought. I remember the days when life was full of joy, I just can't seem to pinpoint when it started not to be. How long have I really felt this way, how much further on this journey to I have to go? Of course I know the answer is that it will be never ending, but I hope it brings me somewhere more peaceful and light. As tiring as it may be, climbing over a mountain to only find another, I will make the decision on how my story will end. I now know I can pick myself up and begin again and I've made it through every day so far. Finger crossed I can hold onto this top of the mountain feeling for a while.
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