Love, History & Stars

My mind and my heart are no longer filled with him. There are no songs that are off limits, or surprise feelings throwing off my day. I've been exhausted and sleeping lots lately, but every time I wake up I feel more like myself. I can't remember what he looks like anymore, it's all fuzzy. My body does not remember his, and my hands do not reach out anymore, they are so tired of holding on.

My days are filled with kids, sunshine, lakes, friends. And as the the days turned to weeks and finally months, so many people have told me how much happier I seem. I am. I will never be the chipper, energetic, social butterfly I was once as a teen, but I am loving this mellow, caring, deep thinking woman I am at the moment. My circle may be a bit smaller, but it still extends to all I need in my life. My circle is tight and strong, they understand and let me experience my periods of rest, and dance the night away with me when I am restored. 

Every time I let myself hit rock bottom, or come close, then put myself back together, its a little different. If you at one point helped break me, then you do not get to see how I put myself back together. I know I can be harsh but there is no more room in the circle, only for the people who appreciate the mosaic that I am becoming. I will never fit into a box or someone else's vision, mine is too strong. It has to be a pretty exciting adventure to entice me, and life has to be flexible enough to allow it.

Cheers to freedom and flexibility.