Confessions of the Hopeless Romantic: November 2016

Sunday, November 27, 2016

In light of my last post.. it wasn't all bad. Cheers to focusing on the good moments, may they outshine the bad!

When people just get you #birthday #29 #flowers #wine #whiskey #afewofmyfavouritethings

29

I tried to let my birthday quietly pass me by. I did not want to celebrate this last year of my life. When I look back on how many times I have tried to pull myself back together again, I still cannot prevent myself from breaking down. Each time is deeper and harder to pull myself out of, and I was ashamed that I had not yet been able to do so. But when the day came I gained a little more strength, because those who love me celebrated me when I couldn't. My eyes were opened to the people whose lives I was still able to touch even when I am down, the people who lift me up when I am exhausted and cannot explain why.

I try to find the eternal optimist that used to preside within me, she would say a birthday is another time for a new beginning, a whole year for things to happen and for life to surprise you. I have stopped looking for the surprises, when it was something that made life delightful for me. Delightful... I can't remember the last time I felt that, but maybe this year I will.

Cheers to my constant reminders. "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." I am finding my voice again, my song, and hopefully balance, so this sadness will not constantly consume me. May 29 be better.. I'd like to have my shit together my 30 :p