Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Let's Talk

Today mental illness is on everyone's mind, followed by a hashtag making it trendy. I try to share my story and my struggle everyday, not for sympathy or for an excuse but to help end the stigma, and to let others know I am always here. In the depth of winter I feel my burden more heavy than before, it actually causes me physical pain. I feel sick, my slumber is never long enough, my work days are too long and my breaks are too short, my to do list is too long, and my soul is too tired. I want to cry out, but I fear to response from people who don't really understand. I can't get up, get out and perk up. I know all the things that are good for me, knowing them and being unable to help yourself is even worse than feeling sad all the time, now I am plagued with guilt and blame.

All I can do is fight, I may struggle to get out of bed, yet I somehow make it through every day. So I will continue to do so, and hopefully find a little joy, sunshine and release along the way. Someone mentioned recently how much they enjoyed my 100 Happy Days Challenge in the past, so I am challenging myself again... 100 Happy Days Challenge - Self Care Addition. Wish me luck.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Self Care isn't Selfish

Self care isn't selfish, you need to nourish yourself before you can flourish. But what about those days when you can barely care for yourself, when all your energy is put into getting up, showing up & making it through? When you can't find enough energy to make yourself smile, let alone others. Self care is going to be become a priority in these winter months... at least until I am able to soak up the Cuban sun.



Lunch Time Jams

Ooh Love



Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Another Year

As the long days faded away and the leaves changed so did my energy levels. I missed the lazy days of summer, and weekends spent with friends at the lake. I killed it at work, traveled for conferences, ran P.L.'s, piloted a new program, then came up exhausted and weary. Hence the end of the weekly poetry/haiku/photo posts.

Once again I am seeking balance, a balance I can maintain throughout all seasons and cycles. 30 came and went, as did Christmas. Now here we are in the dead heart of winter when my strength is needed most. Once Christmas is over snow is no longer magical, just a constant reminder that the dark season in the north has only just begun. Thank goodness I have the Cuban sun to look forward to and boost that vitamin D, I think winter holidays are going to be an annual must from now on.

I was trying to avoid resolutions but I have an innate need to better myself, no matter how the small the steps. When I think about my challenges and where I want to head in life my goals are small, and I really just crave happiness and balance. Here are my little happiness goals...

1. Explore the concept to Hygge this winter & soak up that winter sun when I can
2. Continue writing via blogging, poetry, journal
3. Explore mindfulness further & grow yoga moves
4. Explore new trails/camp spots with my pup
5. Take more photos, explore new subject matter
**6. I have a secret little project I have been dying to do, I am committing to taking the first few steps but not yet revealing what it will be.

Stay tuned & stay grounded xo