When all the parts of the puzzle, start to feel like they fit xo

To say past experiences have jaded my once hopeless romantic attitude is an under statement. I used to believe that I would meet someone and I would just know, but as years passed I brushed it off as a silly notion. But perhaps it isn't. Something has stirred in me that I cannot shake off, it has all the energy of school girl excitement, yet an understanding that it is something real. Never have I not questioned the start of something new, doubted or worried. In the past I would have to convince myself someone was a good match for me, nothing felt sure, like waiting for the other shoe to drop. But here there are no shoes, it is barefoot and natural, it feels easy and right.

Suddenly it makes sense why no one else had worked out, no matter how hard I tried. Suddenly it doesn't matter who has broken my heart or left behind scars, it just beats so happily as if this is what it has been waiting for. If love at first sight isn't real, then love at first smile is. Love at first laugh, first kiss, first simple brush across your cheek. Love when you least expect it. When I think of all the big and small decisions that have led me here I can't help but think of fate, I finally found the inner happiness I have been longing for and outer happiness began to follow.

Embracing change and new challenges, saying yes when I would have said no, taking a chance even when it is scary...  I used to have the mindset of holding back in case I might get hurt, but at this point in time I feel like I cannot not go for it, regardless of how it will end. I have a gut feeling this is a chance I can not miss and faith that it will be worth it.

Holiday Hustle

This year I found myself working through the Holidays, which to my surprise I quite enjoyed. I made it home for the Holidays to visit, but was back at my desk and centres catching up and getting things done. I used to find such a long break during such a busy time of year is hard to come back from, but this year felt like a nice balance. I know in the future I will have time off to use and enjoy the holiday season a bit more, however in the past it was just a plain lay off from work which always made the New Year tight times. There is a little weight lifted off my shoulders and I feel sharp and ready to hit the ground running when we are back in full swing next week.

I see jokes and memes about 2019, and how it was the worst... how that couldn't be more different from my experience. For the first time I really feel like the New Year has many exciting opportunities, many of which are unknown. My day to day is still unknown compared to the daily, weekly, monthly routine I had been living. I surprise myself with the energy and interest to try new and different things, and develop new, healthy and productive habits. I don't think my passion for life was every fully snubbed out, but was a quiet, constant ember that needed to be fanned and nurtured into flames.

I've read every 7 years the cells in your body regenerate themselves, essentially making you a completely different person. Perhaps my 7 years bad luck has ended, I don't know where my cells are on that rotation, but something under the surface is stirring. May the results satisfy my anticipation.  

Passion, some compassion, some humour and some style xo

I think it finally turned out to be my year. If you would have told me this time last year how different my life would be, I don't think I would have believed you. For some reason I felt tied to the place I called home, only to realize it was holding me back. Home will always be home, but I needed to spread my wings in order to grow. I knew the career change would be daunting, but I am a week away from my probation being over and things seemed to have clicked into place. I never through I would want a job that comes with so much stress and responsibility, but I was under estimating myself. 

The past nine years of the Early Years career has prepared me for this moment, slowly but surely I have built trust and relationships and started to change the culture that no one was thriving in. 

Before I took a leap, I was only surviving, but in the words of Maya Angelou: "My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style." I seem to have a found a style that is working for me. 2019 and brought me back to life completely, may 2020 be a year of thriving. 

The Most Wonderful time of the Year

When I moved slightly North this summer, I didn't think the winters would be any different. However, I seem to have moved into a winter wonderland! It feels like a snow globe a few times a week, or is frosted over with a shine the sun catches, and the heavy fogs that lingers mid air almost glitters on the lake some mornings. My new job requires me to travel between sites and I just love the drives, they are probably the most relaxing moments of my week.

I have always loved Christmas, but Christmas in this new house just has cozy written all over it. Like everything I have envisioned in a home have come together. Although, I am a little ways away from home I realized something clicked recently, and this became my new home. I no longer hesitate going to a new places or greeting my new neighbours, I can't imagine where I would be or how I would be feeling if I had not made a change 5 months ago. 

Cheers to the first of many Christmas' in my new home town.

Now my heart feels like an ember and it's lighting up the dark

Life Long Lessons

I have resorted to photo blogging again. To say this new adventure is overwhelming, is under statement. But life is a daring adventure or nothing. Another factor is how little I actually use my laptop since everything is usually at my finger tips with devices. I want make an effort to carve out time, as writing has always been therapeutic for me. I need to remind myself to take time for the things that ground me, spending more time in nature, with friends, my crazy dog, have been so soothing for me these past few years. For the first time I am confident in my mental health and feel strong, once I felt happier I was able to do more things, I recently discovered I lost 50 lbs. I knew my clothes were getting bigger, but when I saw the numbers I was surprised. I am not quite where I want to be, but know I am well on my way. This career change and relocation is also paying off, I didn't know I was standing at a crossroads until I took a leap of faith and landed safely. I am still learning, but if you aren't learning you will just stay the same.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I am very excited for our first Christmas in this cozy little home xo