A little Tracy in the morning ♫♪

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest, smile

I don't always take photos.. but when I do it is Autumn ;)

Black Cat Syndrome

Ever feel like anything that can go wrong will? Something is afoot lately... and I cannot put my finger on it. The last few weeks, if I have somewhere to go, something to do... well anything and everything will go wrong. Traffic, items breaking, spilling, going missing!! Usually this is something that would stresses me out or will determine my mood, yet this is not the case. Feeling happy and grounded has made all these minor things roll off my back and somehow not let it bother me. I should feel frazzled, off, disorganized... yet I feel on point, on the ball, thorough.

So send those black cats my way.. I seem to be immune to their side effects. (Cat model: Gypsy)

Black Mermaid

And all at once, Summer collapsed into Fall

Do your thing

Most of my adult life I have been working towards happiness, self love, and self care. All at once things seem to have come together, I am killing it at work, I love my new beautiful home, I am taking good care of myself and I feel good. How crazy is it that in this good place I always wonder, will this last? I know it's up to me to keep on the good work, but I still need to be kind to myself. Enjoy it while it lasts, do what ever you can to extend and embrace this feeling of joy and relief. These are the moments when I am my best self, and I need to be proud of myself for getting to this point. This is the me I need to remember when things are not so great, to know I have it in me to get back there is what will keep me going when I need it most. I know when I am happier, but when others notice it's great, because you are wearing it on the outside. Catch me singing, taking 100 photos, talking a mile a minute... I don't care. This is happy me, so I am going to let her do her thing.

Checking that phone...

I can hardly remember the last time I had a crush that made me feel giddy. I've been with people for convenience or lust, or because I thought it was the right thing to do. But to have that feeling for someone you have not been intimate with, but only daydream about, is an excitement I haven't felt in a long time. I have no idea where it could head, if anywhere at all, but it's good to feel so alive again, to be hoping and daydreaming.

I remember a few years back, being a situation because I thought it was the grown-up thing to do, try and domesticate myself. I also remember having a moment of realization I may not feel that giddy-ness again, and I certainly did not for the person I was with. The sad part is I was ready to accept that. Thankfully fate had other ideas, more life for me to live, and feelings to feel. Feelings that have my checking my phone every few minutes... gah, my thirty-year-old butt feels a little silly with this crush, silly and smiley.