Ask and you shall recieve

I've never asked for much, or expected much. I suppose it was a way to try and avoid disappointment. But maybe if I had asked for a little more, gone after what I wanted a little more persistently I would have more to show. Not that I don't, I am very blessed and in a very content place in my life right now. But with things going so smoothly and on track I crave what I am missing even more, more intensely. I desire a significant other, and not just anyone, I learned the hard way settling is in no body's best interest, certainly not my own.
I want someone to challenge me, have interesting conversations with, someone to read on the coach with, I guess just someone to love. Of course I want to romance and the "intense-can't live without each other" love, but I also want to "quiet-don't have to talk to know" sort of love. A balanced love.
I realize I idolize the idea of love, perhaps to the point where I've set my expectations beyond anyone's reach, but I still at this point refuse to lower the bar. Perhaps I have for a little fling or a night, but that is certainly out of my system at this point.I want and deserve something better, something real.
So maybe I need to ask and be persistent, I need to be forward with what I want and what I am looking for. Nothing ever came to you sitting around, dinner doesn't get made without turning the stove on (another lesson I have recently learned), and this missing piece won't fill itself in without doing the puzzle, putting in the work and effort. I may not pursue this philosophy right away, but I am seriously considering it. However, being the eternal optimist that I am, I will probably procrastinate, hoping true love will fall into my lap.
Until then,
The Hopeless Romantic

Brand New Love - Serena Ryder

Let's pretend that we have colds
And lie in bed and wear our robes around the house
And breath in basement books of old and dusty words
Of stories told about somewhere else
No one else can see the seams that sew the air into our dreams when we are young
Because we are

I can't take your breath away
But I'll show you a brand new way
With brand new love
I can't mend your wounded heart
But I'll give you a brand new start
With brand new love

Let's pretend we never lie
And tell our truths and then let's cry real tears this time
We'll stain our lips with the colour of wine
And then we kiss and everything is fine again
It's cold outside but we are warm inside eachother
We are born oh jesus christ
We are

I can't take your breath away
But I'll show you a brand new way
With brand new love
I can't mend your wounded heart
But I'll give you a brand new start
With brand new love

We Remember

A special post for all those brave men and woman

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Hopeless in Northern Ontario

Sometimes I almost feel like the days when I had been in love, or on the boarder of it. That giddy sensation you have when you know good things are coming. So maybe something is, or I am just crazy. Or I just have all this love inside me that is ready to bubble over and out of me like a volcano, or my verbal diarrhea. (Yup I just love and diarrhea in the same sentence, but I don't seem to care)
I haven't really met someone that could have warranted this feeling, maybe it's a sign from my heart that love may be entering my life in the near future. And it doesn't feel like friend or family love. It feels like love that comes from long cuddles and soft kisses. Love that is realized and can make the world seem more beautiful (even my ugly yellow bathroom). Maybe the love I've been waiting for.
Or maybe I've just been reading to many love letters, I've purchased about four books worth off of amazon, and I am probably just running a love high off others words that I wished had been written to me.
I suppose I can just wish that the next person I fall for will be worth it. That I will be strong enough to hold off, and I don't give all this unused love to the wrong one again.

More Hopeless than ever <3 xox

I've never wanted something rational

I want Love
I want passion
I want romance
I want someone to hold my hand
I want someone to cuddle me on the coach and hold me in bed
I want laughter
I want a challenge
I want someone to win over my heart completely
I want butterflies every day
I want a smile that dazzles
I want whispers of sweet nothings and promises
Someone to make me strong coffee in the morning and pour me wine at night
Someone smart
Someone to take me places, even if it is only in the mind
Someone who thinks my sneezing fits are cute
Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in the world
Someone who loves Subway
I want songs on guitar
And words filled with desire
I want someone to want me more than I want them
I want not to be lonely

Is that really too much to ask? haha.. Until I find you,
The Hopeless Romantic xox

Reeling it in

Where have I been you ask? Certainly not fishing. The online dating site lasted about two and a half weeks before I reeled it in. Just another way to meet exactly what I am not looking for. Although there were a few decent ones here and there, I decided to stick to my original plan and meet them the old fashioned way. Although that hasn't worked out to well yet, I will give it another shot. I am just not sure I feel right about meeting someone that way, like I am interfering with fate. And although I did say there were a few good ones, I think I am far to impatient. Like a thrift shop, there might be something perfect and fabulous in there, I just can't always find the energy to sift through everything. So I will go to my favorite store, pay a bit more (in this case wait a bit more) and come home with the perfect outfit.
Until then I'll wait, (in my shabby clothes)
The Hopeless Romantic xox