I've never asked for much, or expected much. I suppose it was a way to try and avoid disappointment. But maybe if I had asked for a little more, gone after what I wanted a little more persistently I would have more to show. Not that I don't, I am very blessed and in a very content place in my life right now. But with things going so smoothly and on track I crave what I am missing even more, more intensely. I desire a significant other, and not just anyone, I learned the hard way settling is in no body's best interest, certainly not my own.
I want someone to challenge me, have interesting conversations with, someone to read on the coach with, I guess just someone to love. Of course I want to romance and the "intense-can't live without each other" love, but I also want to "quiet-don't have to talk to know" sort of love. A balanced love.
I realize I idolize the idea of love, perhaps to the point where I've set my expectations beyond anyone's reach, but I still at this point refuse to lower the bar. Perhaps I have for a little fling or a night, but that is certainly out of my system at this point.I want and deserve something better, something real.
So maybe I need to ask and be persistent, I need to be forward with what I want and what I am looking for. Nothing ever came to you sitting around, dinner doesn't get made without turning the stove on (another lesson I have recently learned), and this missing piece won't fill itself in without doing the puzzle, putting in the work and effort. I may not pursue this philosophy right away, but I am seriously considering it. However, being the eternal optimist that I am, I will probably procrastinate, hoping true love will fall into my lap.
Until then,
The Hopeless Romantic
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