Oops, I did it again

Of course I did. I can never seem to take the lessons I learn and apply them. I can read a book, write a test and ace it. Real life, not so much. Those of you who have heard some of the chances I’ve taken and have had to listen after the end result are probably shaking their heads. I am too, at least that is a step in the right direction, although the repeat mistake has already been made. But hey, I’m catching on. Perhaps not as fast as I would like to, but I am getting there. Maybe next time I won’t ignore the signs and won’t pretend this one isn’t just like all the others. Etta James sang a song “Fool that I am”. To say that I can relate is an understatement. I am a pro at overlooking the bad to find the good in people. And usually the good I am looking for is not really there, just the hope I have that the next person who looks my way could more than just a brief encounter. Constantly I am settling for less than I want, and deserve. Somehow convincing myself I can make do on that. Which of course is a lie, which I always believe, in turn results in sometimes more than a slight disappointment. I guess that is why the call it crush, because a little crushed is how you are left feeling. There is that taste of infatuation, the one at the beginning of “something” that makes you feel foolish and makes you think about future days. Then BAM, just kidding, it is not happening. However in one way I am growing/learning is not too feel quite so much, which leaves me feeling not so hurt. mostly just a little stupid. But of course I always encourage taking chances, and learning from the experience. I recently heard that experience is another word for a mistake. Although this is not always true I certainly agree that sometimes yes, it is just a fancy word for I fucked up again. In the words of Bob Dylan, “The only thing I knew how to do way to keep on keeping on.”
Until next time,
The Hopeless Romantic