Hey Jealousy

I have come to the conclusion that I am very happy in my single status. Of course I would like something more, but until I find the something that takes my breath away I have decided not to settle. But with one little slip I feel right back where I always was. Even though I now know what I do and do not want, I still don't want anyone to have what I should not want. I know I have made the right choice, and have not made an idiot of myself, yet I feel small stirrings of something along the lines of jealousy. Jealousy over something that I don't not even want. Isn't that crazy? (No wonder men don't understand us) Even when I am feeling jealous or slightly angry my brain is telling me, "Tatum, you don't even want, nor deserve that." Maybe it's just the holidays, surrounded by couples, and families and engagements. None of which I want at this time or anywhere near ready for, maybe I am just anxious to get to that point. Start something special. Perhaps there still is some hopeless-ness floating around getting drudged up. OR maybe I just have way to much free time to think over the holidays, and when the New Year comes and I am crazy busy again this will fade.
Until Then,
The Hopeless Romantic xox

Not so Hopless..

Well, No Internet these days and no love!! But maybe I am not so hopeless anymore because I haven't even thought about it. Giving up meaningless crushes and encounters has been liberating! How easy it is to say no thank-you with a smile :) Hopefully I can avoid the holiday hook-ups which never lead anywhere in the New Year.
Unknowingly I have been working on me, and my little apartment. Glancing around last night at my place all decorated for Christmas with a glass of wine and painted nails I smiled realizing how content I am in my little world of books, work, friends, hockey and whatever else I can find to fill the time. Besides avoiding holiday hook-ups I have also managed to avoid the winter blues by being completely, exhausting-ly busy and I love it! I may be speaking too soon on that one, but hopefully not! I think that if I keep busy enough and work hard enough I will wake up one day exactly where I want to be, and I hope romance will follow that. But if not I think I'm OK with that too. Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely, and lonely I am certainly not! I will try to keep some posts coming, although it seems a little silly blogging about the lack of love in my life! Oh well!