Lessons learned

As I have stated in my blog name that this is about :"Lessons learned and so obviously not learned". It seems lately it is the learning, and using those lessons learned that is the more dominant of the two. When it comes to something I would normally do, for example, jumping to conclusions, I find myself mind reeling back and pausing to reflect if that is good choice or not. Like when I meet someone and talk, and smile and keep in touch sometimes by that point I have envisioned what it would be like to be with that person, ext. OK, sometimes I still do a little but in the back of my mind I am telling myself that it is a silly notion and I shouldn't do that. That inner voice is there, and I am listening! Because I remember doing that so many times before, and in the end you are more disappointed with not having the things you envisioned rather than what was really there.
Now lessons not learned. Wouldn't it just be easier to just be foolish. Believe every word, and get carried away. This is almost as bad as dieting, which I am not very good at either. But it takes work being good! It is easier to be bad and irresponsible!! But I cannot let myself be flattered so easily which usually results in me ready to give everything into something that might not really be what I think it to be. I can't forget everything about a person because they can make me smile. Well I could, but I sure as hell shouldn't. Otherwise all my broken hearts, whether self induced or not, will have been in vain. I want the next time to be amazing, to be worth all this waiting. I just need to be strong, and keep an arms distance until I know it is someone worth opening them for an embrace.
Until then,
The Hopeless Romantic

Let the Blog posts roll....

Ahh!! After three months I am finlly hooked up to the internet from the comfort of my own home :) I feel excited to have it at my finger tips again. Unfortunatly there is also bandaids covering a few of them, so typing is challenging. But now that it's here, I will think of some insightful romantic things to say and get back to you.
Until Then,
The Hopeless (and apparently clumbsy) Romantic

No more Mr. Nice Guy

So I was reading some book, simply to pass the time. I did not think it would be amazing, or make my top 20, but it certainly struck a note. It’s a book about a small town and high school and all the things that go with it. I found it struck a chord so close to home that I could have been reading my own diary. (Yes I had one.) I remember my mom, and many others telling me that high school is such a small part of your life, (even if at the time it seems like your whole world) and it’s true. People who peak in high school and think back on it as their glory days have another thing coming when real life hits. But at the time when it is your world and your world comes crashing down I do believe it contributes to shaping what is to come next.

For some reason I have seemed to have held onto certain things that maybe I should have let go of along time ago. Certain people even. There is something to say about people who have been in your lives forever, it gives you bragging rights. "Oh, we’ve been friends forever!" But just because they have been in your life, doesn’t mean they have been there for you. When the bragging stops ringing true, perhaps it is time to move on. There are certain strings that should have been cut a long time ago. I should have cut them with the knives that I pulled out of my back, and my front. I should have stopped waiting for, and trying to please people who simply expected me to wait/please.

There is a difference between being a good friend and a doormat, and I am just starting to realize that. I have amazing people in my life, people who make me happy and make it easy to be there for them. I need to just forget about my “friends” instead of being angry about the way things have happened. I need to be brave, and not a bitch. Stand up for me, because I deserve it. I deserve good friends.
No more Mr. Nice Guy