No more Mr. Nice Guy

So I was reading some book, simply to pass the time. I did not think it would be amazing, or make my top 20, but it certainly struck a note. It’s a book about a small town and high school and all the things that go with it. I found it struck a chord so close to home that I could have been reading my own diary. (Yes I had one.) I remember my mom, and many others telling me that high school is such a small part of your life, (even if at the time it seems like your whole world) and it’s true. People who peak in high school and think back on it as their glory days have another thing coming when real life hits. But at the time when it is your world and your world comes crashing down I do believe it contributes to shaping what is to come next.

For some reason I have seemed to have held onto certain things that maybe I should have let go of along time ago. Certain people even. There is something to say about people who have been in your lives forever, it gives you bragging rights. "Oh, we’ve been friends forever!" But just because they have been in your life, doesn’t mean they have been there for you. When the bragging stops ringing true, perhaps it is time to move on. There are certain strings that should have been cut a long time ago. I should have cut them with the knives that I pulled out of my back, and my front. I should have stopped waiting for, and trying to please people who simply expected me to wait/please.

There is a difference between being a good friend and a doormat, and I am just starting to realize that. I have amazing people in my life, people who make me happy and make it easy to be there for them. I need to just forget about my “friends” instead of being angry about the way things have happened. I need to be brave, and not a bitch. Stand up for me, because I deserve it. I deserve good friends.
No more Mr. Nice Guy