I swear I was running as fast as I could to finish line. The line that once I crossed would free me of all that has happened in the last year. But as I approach the end I find I am dragging my feet. I am holding on and reminiscing about every moment. I remember how good it felt to be adored, how much attention I had for the first time in so long. I really felt so loved in the beginning. It's funny how your mind can choose what to remember.
I remember how lucky I felt to finally have you, how happy I finally felt at last. Even when I was unhappy for other reasons, I felt okay because I had you. I try to remember the things that bothered me, to offset these memories that decided to come flooding in, but the pros are out weighing the cons and I am struggling to truly move on. You became more a part of me then I had planned it, you forced your way in, loved me fiercely and left. And now I am left here alone. I know I wanted it to rain and wash away it all, but now I am drowning in these memories and feelings, and haunted by the way you once made me feel. I need the sun back, I need it to come and dry up all these tears and warm my heart and bones. I need to force my way across this finish line and accept that no one is waiting on the other side.
No comments:
Post a Comment