Every once in a while I will think of him, someone will mention him or ask me how he is. It's always a moment of shock, because he has finally left my heart and mind. I tried so hard to move on so quickly, I should have known it would happen when my heart was ready. I think I couldn't rush it because for me it was love, hence the moment of shock I feel. For he is now forgotten, someone I had made so much room for in my heart is part of my past. I have managed to fill the void left, but sometimes the echo of what was sneaks in for a beat or two.
There are whole days saved in my mind.. not that many, but those memories are still there. For a while I believed what everyone told me, that I never really loved him, that I just wanted to be with someone. But when those days replay in my mind and that shock strikes my belly it is because I had finally opened my heart, and I was truly in love for a moment in time. So sometimes I still grieve that loss, I resent the void I had to fill to stop my heart from breaking, and cry. But then, I dry my tears and make sure my patch work is holding up.
As I move on from my past may I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I knew I wanted to move on, my heart took a little longer to get on board, but I am finding the calm in the choice I did not have.
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