Too good to be true?

As I try and find a way back to myself, I have considered all the things I  must do to get there. I knew thinking about treatment options was something that I could not avoid forever, so I made some choices in order to move forward. Like a rubber band snapping back into place, I feel alive again. Not little by little, but all at once. It was really quite alarming and overwhelming.

"I feel really happy, and really scared that it isn't going to last." I told my mom with tears in my eyes. It is a little strange to feel like yourself again, after so long. It is as if there was a stranger inhabiting my body this whole time, or as if a part of me was asleep, and has finally awoken. I feel a little disorientated, and cautious. Cautious, because for me, good things have not tended to last.

It can't be that simple can it? After years of searching have I finally found my balance? Have I kept that inner spark glowing long enough to finally ignite the flame? Or is it simply one of those last hurrahs, like when a sick person gets one last burst of energy before kicking the bucket?

 I suppose only time will tell, but as keeper of my own fate, I will guide it in my favor when I can.