Monday, August 26, 2019

You Look Happy

I don't think I can put into words how wonderful and how beneficial this move has been for me. Even over long periods of happiness that nagging sadness was always edging in, stealing time through naps, or weekends spent alone. I have been busier than ever, too busy to even realize I have completely begun a new. New house, new job, new people, new children. The challenge seemed too daunting at first, but I didn't really give myself a chance to think about it. From the day of the job offer, I had two weeks to wrap up my life in Nipigon and start a new. 

Things have finally settled in, and it has hit me that Nipigon is no longer my home. I wasn't home sick until the anniversary of a love one's death date, but a few quick visits home cured me up and reassured me I had made the right choice for my career, mental health and personal relationships. Leaving those I loved dearly was hard, but they will always love me. Meeting new people, truly loving myself and to find someone special will be worth starting over.

I always thought that even when I reached the level of happiness I have been craving, I would never be my old self again, gosh its probably been at 10-12 years since I really felt that way. But yet I do. They say happiness makes you look different, I think it makes me look beautiful xo


Thursday, August 15, 2019

& in the summer, we laugh, love & soak up the sun




I want you to be happier

I know I always say life is a journey, but I feel like I have arrived at where I am suppose to be, at least for the time being. When I moved in the fall last year, it really made improvements to my mood, but at the end of the day the move did not fulfill the expectations I had, not like this move has. I never thought I would see the day I wanted to leave my little town behind, but doing so was probably the best decision I have ever made, and now I have a new little town not too far away from home to make my own.

Looking back I don't know what the connection to my comfort zone was so strong, before my 20's I was the most energetic outgoing person. I went away to camps and retreats on my own all the time, met new people every where I went. It's nice to know that part of me is still there, I had thought I had everyone in my life that I needed. It turns out there are always new people who can expand and add to you life.

I have been trying to hard to be happy for so long that I didn't notice it has become less of an effort. Happiness has not come this naturally in probably over 6 years, I am praying all this hard work is paying off. I felt like I was always waiting for something to change or begin, and this turn of fate was just what I needed. I don't use the word fate loosely, but the way the universe aligned to allow everything to fall in the place the way it has makes me believe I am exactly where I am suppose to be.