Keep Breathing

Sorry I haven't been writing, I know it's been a little bit, and it might still be a while in between posts for the time being. I've always found when writing something it's a very emotional process for me. I need to feel, to believe the words I am writing, I know the last post was kinda crap. It happens. I just feel like inviting all that emotion in is treading on dangerous territory right now. Deep down all emotions feel tied into each other one way or another. By remembering, loving, hurting, falling it's opening a door that I am trying my hardest to keep locked. And it's silly to try and not feel anything, I don't want to be an emotionless zombie, but I certainly don't want to welcome anymore of what I have been feeling lately. However I do realize there and no stopping it, and I am just trying to stay grounded so when these tidal waves of sorrow wash over me I am still left standing. I feel like I am walking along just fine enjoying the day and I look away for a second and hit a brick wall, I am left so stunned that nothing else really matters. For split seconds you forget about everything that has happened, but reality won't let you keep that ignorant moment and life punches you in the gut, taking your breath away.
Keep breathing, that's what I tell myself, something that can be taken for granted, you do it without thinking, but then you have to think about it to carry you to the next moment, the moment where it won't feel as awful as it did a moment before, it becomes such a trvial thing. And when you stop that's it. They say life is about the moments that take your breath away, I always thought that was such a happy saying, like the moments of falling in love, being with friends, all the great things in life. But the awful things in life really take you breath away as well, but I suppose living is also about the moments you catch your breath again. Keep breathing, keep living, keep remembering, but just for a moment I don't want to keep feeling.. just a moment.