Summertime Sadness

Today I am extra sad. Today I really miss you. It's funny, I could go for weeks before without saying anything and now I want to talk to you everyday. I want to share little things that will make you smile. I miss your smile, and your lips, your hair and how you smell like incence. I miss staying up all night and drinking tea with you. I was just starting to notice all the little things about you I loved and now it's all I am able to think about. It's fun to fall when it's new and exciting, but to keep falling when someone else has already checked out just feels sad. I remember all I wanted for so long was just to be held, if I would have known how fast my heart would race, or how it would take me a second to catch my breath I probably would have thought twice. Maybe ignorance is bliss because now my arms feel empty and I feel lonely. I wish I could have quieted my mind and shut my mouth and just enjoyed what I had, but I feel like once the words are out there is no going back. If I hadn't wanted too much then I would have more right now.. go figure.