Tuesday, September 20, 2016

I didn't know my own strength

How funny and fleeting life can be. I always said I was going to get my shit together when I was 30, get serious about life. My cousin, 29 like me, is now a widow. She's built a whole and full life and now must face the idea of a different ending. Tragedy really brings what is important, or lack there of, to the fore front. I remembered how strong I can be when strength was needed. Even through it was in the face of sadness, the love that radiated from this family of ours and the community showed me the peace in strength, and strength in numbers.


Weak moments and days have flooded me lately, but the harder I try the stronger I become. I am more self aware of how important self care is, and find myself waking up a bit stronger and less exhausted. I am making a concious effort to be more engaged in all the little moments, and hope my heart softens to the heavy hardness I've been carrying around. 

I'm taking chances, not any leaps or bounds, but I'm more aware of how precious our moments really are. My spirit may be tired, but I would not be honouring my true self if I lead a life void of meaning or joy. It may end up being a more quiet life than I imagined but I long for content and peace, purpose and passion.

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