Moving on does not mean I am over it. You still linger in all that I do and I miss you, but I am still left with no choice but to move on. Who knows when I will finally be over this. I was hoping maybe a week, then perhaps a month, but much to my dismay there is no "get over your first love" timeline I can follow. I am making the path as I go.
What a friend I found in you, but separating that friend from my lover feels so complicated. I wish we could have survived, even though neither one of us can convince ourselves that would be best. I know I can't have you help me to get over you, but as the days go on I can't see you never being a part of my life. I've grown so much the last year, and so much of that has to do with you. You know me in a way no one else does because you brought out a side of me I had long forgotten about. You, who didn't know me before might not have seen the difference, but I blossomed and grew, I took a lot of steps I had been avoiding for so long. But I don't want to rush to the finish line, I want to enjoy this new person I am becoming, I worked hard and for a long time to arrive at this point. I owe her this time to relish in what I achieved. I want you to know all that achieve too, because I am grateful for your part in my journey. There may have been things I did not like, but there were a lot of things I loved, and I love our friendship. I am hoping to untangle the rest of the mess and feelings that surround our friendship, because I can't loose that too.
No comments:
Post a Comment