I'll be missing you

How strange it is to be falling out of love when exactly a year ago we were doing to opposite. As the days pass my memories align the days with those days that were spent with you. I am cursing my memory that refuses to let me forget a thing. Our first dinner, our first walk, pizza, kiss, fart. Then I am struck by the moments that were our last ones, only at the time I did not know they would be. I wish our last moments were vibrant and amazing and unforgettable, but they were just another day that have blended into all the others. Mostly I wish I did not have to deal with any of this, face the up coming days alone, mourn the ones that have passed and will never occur again. I think I've made it through the pass few days and weeks pretty good, but when I think about all the ones ahead I have to face alone I feel so tired and frustrated, so alone and sad. The idea of forgetting you feels so daunting, I still remember how it feels to be in your arms, the way you house smells when I first walk in the door, how messy your car is... anything and everything is a constant echo of what was. These worries and words come out with the tears, as they leave my mind and heart just as the tears leave my eyes I can only hope to be slightly relived of this, this strange sad feeling that has found me since you left. I may be trying my best to move on, but it doesn't mean I am not missing you every step forward I take.